you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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