I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
