my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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