THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
