Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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