Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
