evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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