how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
