I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
