His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
