Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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