yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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