She's JV to your varsity
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize