umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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