It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
