So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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