yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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