Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hippo gnu deer
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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