I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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