Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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