Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
