Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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