We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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