so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
