it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
