help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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