you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
