i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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