Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
