Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
