i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
