Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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