I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
