why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
