So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
