You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
