put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
