I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
