Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
