You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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