I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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