So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
