I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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