playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
