someone get that fucking seahorse.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
