Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
