they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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