Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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