CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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