i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
