Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
