we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize