Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
this is an emotional support booty call
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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