I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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