Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
