I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
