I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
