i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize