Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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